How to know if you’re fully healed
So often, I hear people say they're waiting to be fully healed in order to finally get in a relationship or they use it as an excuse for not feeling “ready” to start their healing business, or as a scapegoat for why they feel chronically unhappy or stressed in their life
But I think it's simply because there's a lack of understanding of what it means to be fully healed- and it actually might surprise you
There are nuances and layers to this so I'm going to break it down into 3 categories of being "fully healed"
1) Problem Removed
I knew I was fully healed from disordered eating and self-loathing because I could eat stress-free, intuitively, and healthily, and I literally just stopped hating myself
I haven't made food decisions based off of calories, fat content, or "good" vs "bad" foods in 5 or 6 years.
I haven't had the thought, "I hate myself" or "I'm so fat" or felt disgust when I looked at my body also in years
In other words, I knew I was fully healed because I literally didn't have the problem anymore.
2) Problem Reduced
In cases of complex trauma or PTSD, fully healed doesn’t mean things are back to before the trauma happened-
That’s frankly, imo, an ignorant fantasy that doesn’t actually serve anyone nor is accurate to what the vast majority of people would actually prefer
Fun fact: in surveys, the vast majority of people if given the opportunity to ERASE the memory of a traumatic event knowing that would also alter everything that happened as a result of it, would choose NOT to erase the memory-- no matter how painful or vile it was.
What fully healed means in this context is that the emotional weight of the traumatic memories are significantly reduced, thereby you are liberated from the pain, narratives, and upset from that event. You will still experience triggers in your life, but it won’t happen as easily, as frequently, nor take as long to let it pass through.
Personally, I saw this healing for myself in relationships and s*x years after experiencing S.A. where I couldn’t talk about it without crying, my body would go into a panic attack with a new partners the first time or even first couple of times we got intimate, AND it was almost impossible for me to fully release and *get there*, even in a long-term relationship
But now, I can talk about what happened neutrally (not numbly- there’s a very very big difference), and I feel so grounded, safe, and in-tune with my body that I can both avoid the old pattern of panic attacks, enjoy the moment, and be present enough to surrender! YAY!!!
3) Problem Reframed
I had many clients who came to me looking for help with their productivity because they struggled with procrastination, lack of focus and motivation, and also never could fully “turn off” and properly rest to be more productive.
In every single case, the core issue wasn’t actually that they were lazy, undisciplined, and a procrastinator.
The issue was they didn’t have solid trust in themselves, they were doing unfulfilling work, they were in a fight-or-flight state, they had harmful narratives around productivity and work in general, or their self-esteem was tied to money or work results.
In these cases, when we reframed the presenting problem to focus on the actual core issue, there was immediate relief, understanding, and compassion for themselves that allowed them to relate to their time and work better, therefore increasing their quality of life, lowering their stress, and fully healing the problem because now they could just focus on strengthening their self-trust, upholding their boundaries, and creating safety in knowing their self-worth is inherent rather than externally validated.
This being a life-long practice, just like working out to stay fit, means the real problem was never something that needed fixing or healing from, but rather reframed.
In each of these cases, there were certain modalities that I found most effective and they all worked together to completely transform my reality and quality of life
Pure mindset work, emotional intelligence, and life coaching were enough to shift my relationship with food and my body.
It was also through thought awareness, challenging limiting beliefs, and tapping into courage and confidence that allowed me to get out of depression, break up with toxic partners, and end chronic burnout.
Not only that, but it also brought in so much beauty and joy into my life— I started my business, manifested a soulmate partnership, and really helped me discover who I was and feel confident in myself.
The entire first 3 years of my personal healing journey were 100% fueled by the power of the mind and it made my reality unrecognizable to my past self.
Don’t underestimate the power of one small, true, and helpful thought.
Then I stacked on hypnotherapy and was able to release a huge emotional loads I didn’t realize I was carrying.
It brought me back to memories around finances and I found the root causes of why I felt money was scarce and where I felt undeserving of it.
I found the root belief of, “I’m a burden” which was a “ah hah!” moment for me as I was going through life with so many tangential thoughts and behavioral patterns of being overly-accomodating, apologetic, or feeling like I owe someone for doing something nice for me (even if that was just a friend listening to me talk about my challenges).
Knowing the root of it was like opening a pressure relief valve and allowed me to access the truth, which is that I am a blessing!
Not in an ego-boosting way, but in the sense of how people congratulate new parents on their new blessing and seeing how anything or anyone that brings you joy, excitement, love, new perspectives, or opportunities are HUGE BLESSINGS!!!
With the new found awareness I could use my skills in managing my mind and reframing my life, to more use as my subconscious felt safe to bring up other challenges that were now ready to be released
And finally, through the deep healing work, I awakened my soul and intuition again which gave me such a deep sense of presence, gratitude, and connection in my life.
It added MAGIC back into life.
It made life more fun, more meaningful, and more fulfilling— all things we as humans look for in other people, or in drinks and Netflix, or in our work, but when you can find it in yourself and it’s a bottomless well you can pull from, it completely changes the game.
These results are all available to you, no matter who you are, what you’ve been through, and where you’re at now.
If you want to experience this for yourself, then the best thing you can do is to put yourself in the environment to do so.
The Soul Whispers Retreat in Joshua Tree is an incredible place to start or expand in your healing journey.
You’ll experience 2 full days of:
Life coaching to build your mindset, emotional intelligence, and life perspectives to be in service to you
Rapid Transformational Therapy, a form of hypnotherapy that will lighten the load of trauma and help transform your belief system from the inside out
Spiritual guidance and soul alignment via channeled messages, card pulls, and human design consulting
Sound baths and ceremonies to initiate and close out this sacred container
Community, relaxation, and plant-based nourishment
Registration is closing in 5 days, on November 26th, and I still have private rooms available at $3,000 (or $2,500/ person if you’re sharing with a friend or partner).
You can read more about the retreat and book your spot below!